Sunday, September 7, 2014

Dirty fingernails/dirty clothed man sitting outside Italian restaurant on an extremely hot day

Him: "Buy me some food and I will eat it. God will bless you."

MePointing to cafe next to Italian restaurant.  "The owner there is very nice and they have day old bagels.  Let me go ask her if she has any food to give.  I know her."

Him: "I don't eat bagels."

Me: "They are gluten free."

Him: "No I don't want any food from that place."

Me: "Well, what do you want to eat?"

Him: "Buy me Fettuccine Alfredo.  I will eat it. God will bless you."

Me: "Well, I feel like God is blessing me right now by having this conversation with you.  I truly would rather see if she has any food that will go to waste and is fresh.  Isn't Fettuccine Alfredo a bit heavy on such a hot day?"

Him: "Buy me food and God will bless you."

Me: Walks away.  "Have a good day."

Guy that just finished singing karaoke

"You are so beautiful. I'm not hitting on you.  If I was still alive I would, but I'm a fucking dead soul."